R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he fucked my hip out of place.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
