fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
