Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
