with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
