what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the liver wants what the liver wants
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
