Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize