Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
