Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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