thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
