do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The beer is more important than you right now.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
