apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
