is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
