Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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