i just sent this text using only my big toe
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
