you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
