dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
