I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize