So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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