I'm drive I can fine osifer
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize