I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
