I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
