The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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