I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
