DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
