shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's never too late to be topless.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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