I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
bring money and cleavage
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
