Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
