Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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