Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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