Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you win again, gameday.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
