It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
