are you still at the devil's house?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
