There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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