so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
