she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
