U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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