OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
