She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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