covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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