I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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