It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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