i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
