Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
