so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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