My Higher Power is John Stamos
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
