bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
