Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
