I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
