i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
