I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
