Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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