Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
