my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
