I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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