I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my phone needs a breathalizer
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this just has baby written all over it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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