We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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