I wannas sexs uuuuu
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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