hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
