Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
