so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
