you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
